PLEASE SURVIVE THE THAW, WEE EMBIES

Embies are being thawed tomorrow and hopefully in for ET on Thursday. Just have to pray they survive thaw # 2!! One nurse was all encouraging and another gave me the full head-tilted-pathetic-smile look!

Fiona is full steam ahead with her IUI this week - wouldn't it be fab if we both got positives! After all her months on Clomid and being mucked about, I sincerely hope this all works out for her.

My other friend Rebecca is due her baby within the next couple of weeks - it would really ease the ache in my heart if I went to visit her knowing I was pregnant.

Please, please, please................

FET # 2

DH and I had a great weekend in Moffat. We booked a really nice hotel, and decided on an upgrade to a four poster bed and a bottle of champagne on arrival!

There's not a lot to do in Moffat which suited us perfectly. We sat reading the newspapers in the sun room, watched the rugby in a pub (Scotland got gubbed) and wandered round the wee shops (mostly tartan tat). There was, however a really nice antique shop where DH bought me a beautiful diamond and emerald eternity ring. It's a tiny bit too big, so I'll get it sized in town tomorrow. Got a busy day tomorrow, as it looks like ET will be this week.

I had an appointment for a blood sample on Friday before we left for Moffat. As I have said before, I know when I am ovulating, and at the end of last week, I was sure I could feel my ovaries twinging, so I think that's my cycle back to normal now. Anyway, sods law, I phoned the lab on Friday afternoon from the hotel, and of course they told me to come in on Sunday morning for another blood sample! I got them to book me into the last available appointment, so I could at least get nice big fry up breakfast before we left.

I'm back in tomorrow morning for another sample and then acupuncture at 11.30. Assuming ET will be Wednesday or Thursday, that only gives me tomorrow and Tuesday to do all my running around.

On the one hand I'm worried that our three remaining frosties will have been frozen and thawed twice, so who knows what kind of nick they will be in and if they will survive. On the other, the fact that they will have gone threw it twice, may mean they are right strong wee fighters.

We've decided if this one doesn't work, we'll book for my sister's wedding, and do our last NHS full fresh cycle when we get back. If that doesn't work, we'll try the new Glasgow private clinic, who should have their PGD testing up and running by then. Can't believe we are being so philosophical about the whole process now.

Who knows.........

ANOTHER PIZZA HUT THERAPY SESSION

Met Mary, Jenny and Paulina for pizza tonight. Paulina is due in April, but as it's twins will probably have a c section at the end of March, and Jenny is 24 weeks.

It's so strange, but I have no pangs of jealousy with these girls, no green eyed monster. I know what they went through, so I know how much they appreciate every sleepless night and every discomfort. I also know they still can't quite believe they are where they have prayed to be for years, and how they won't stop worrying until they hold their babies for the first time.

Mary has started her injections for IUI and I am booked in for another blood test this Friday for round 2 of FET.

Paulina gave me a wee fertility statue a friend at her work gave her before her last cycle, hopefully it will work for me too!!

DH and I have booked a B&B in Moffat for this weekend. Mum and Dad are dog and house sitting, so we are looking forward to a dirty weekend, lol!! Then it's back to the acu and hospital on Monday again. When I saw Rhona at acupuncture on Monday, she was gutted and was sure the -ive was down to embryo quality, ie the Pataus syndrome.

Is there such a thing as forth time lucky?

FEEL SICK, ANOTHER NEGATIVE

Can't believe it, really thought this was the one! Even had a faint positive on Monday, but Aunt Flo turned up on Tuesday night. I was howling like a banshee, crying so hard, I honestly thought my head was going to explode with pain. I felt so incredibly angry - it's hard to explain.

The weird thing is, I'm totally over it now. The last time I was incredibly down for weeks, but this time, on Wednesday morning I was thinking, right, phone the GRI and get booked in for bloods so we can get the ball rolling for FET #2!!

In a scary way, it's like I'm immune to it now.

Anyway, I'm going to Suzy and baby on Friday, I saw them on Monday, which Suzy thought was very brave, but I felt fine, tomorrow might be a little tougher, who knows.

SIX MORE SLEEPS UNTIL TEST!!

Before I tell you all about the transfer, have to update you on Suzy. She wasn't due her baby until end of February, but was losing amniotic fluid, so had a c section on the 31st January. She had a beautiful wee girl.

I haven't actually seen her yet, because I was loaded with the cold, I didn't want to go into the hospital, then of course after et I've been taking it easy and not going over the door. I'm sure she thinks I don't want to see her, but that's absolutely not the case. She said she would understand if I don't want to visit, but I told her, I'm absolutely fine, I'm not that crazy yet!! I'm not jealous of her and her baby, I don't want hers, I want my own. Anyway, I'll go see her next week after acu, she might even bring me luck.

Anyway the transfer on the 1st February went well. We got two 9/10 8 cell embies with three going back in the deep freeze. Delighted with that, but hoping we don't need them too soon.

ET was booked for 3pm and I had acu booked for 3.45, but phoned to let them know I might be a wee bit late, just in case ACS were running over, which of course they were. I actually couldn't have timed it better if I tried. We were taken through at about 3.25pm, they procedure takes about 10 mins all in, so I got to the acupuncturist, which fortunately is only two mins away at about 3.50pm!! Maureen was delighted (as it was a Thursday, Rhona wasn't in) because you can do "German protocol" within 20 mins of transfer!

So straight home and on the couch! Back to acu on Tuesday, then back home again (after waiting on the AA to start my car!!!) Went out food shopping with DH on Wednesday, and was half excited half scared to feel twinges in my tum which continued through Thursday. Hoping they are implantation twinges - hoping and praying.

So, test date is Thursday 15th, which is a full two weeks which is unusual, so I may be tempted to test on the Wednesday - Valentines - nice gift for DH if it's positive, "I peed on a stick for you!"