25 January 2010

Well, midwife appointment was fine, she called Wishaw General early Pregnancy Unit, and booked us in for a scan the following week. I was also chuffed to hear Dr Willocks is still at Central Clinic and we’ll be under her care again!


1 Febraury 2010

Lovely midwife at the EPAS, she was pleased with scan, both babies were same size, although she described one as a show off and the other as a wee shy thing as it was tucked behind “Twin 1”. We got an appointment for another scan for 15 February.

I’ve finally been getting my head round the ides of twins – yes I’m still worried about the medical implications, but I can now visualise the house with three kids running around it. Dh is so excited too, so I don’t want to be a constant downer. Also my friend Mary is getting her Prostap on the 23rd for a medicated FET cycle (her cycle is all over the place so they couldn’t do a natural one) so I keep thinking how lucky we are, and how much Mary would love to be in our shoes.


7 February 2010

Was almost tempted to buy the Firstwheels pram I had my eye on when I saw it on offer with £300 off, but figured that was just a bit too early!

Anyway, I’ve been keeping up the acupuncture, and was amazed to hear Rhona and Maureen have never had a client with twins before – I was their first!!

CJ is still getting on fab at nursery, he loves music and dancing, and he must be getting loads f nursery rhymes, cos he is constantly singing these days – it’s so cute! He is fab a Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Twinkle Twinkle. I took a recording of him on my phone, and keep boring people with it – sad!!


10 February 2010

We’ve found a site down in Ayrshire to put a caravan, it’s only five minutes drive from Ayr town centre and beach, so all we have to do now is find a caravan, lol!

14 February 2010

Well, don’t know what to think, went to the loo and had a bit of pink when I wiped, nothing major, just like watered down blood. I put a towel on, but there isn’t enough for it, it’s only when I wipe. Don’t know what to think – Happy Valentines!


15 February 2010

Called EPAS this morning, told then I already had an appointment for this afternoon and about the pink. It was a bit more cream and brown this morning, which scared me because it reminded me of my mucas plug coming away. Anyway, they said keep the appointment and tell the midwife at the scan. She didn’t sound too concerned, but I decided to stay in bed as long as possible and take it easy.

At the scan, the midwife saw Twin 1 immediately and took measurements and photos and turned the screen to show us this wee bean bouncing about all over the place. It was taking so long to see Twin 2, I knew without her saying what had happened. Eventually she turned the screen and said “I’m sorry, it’s bad news” and there was this dark sack with a strange shape in the middle, no heartbeat. The tears just rolled down my face, I couldn’t stop them and dh squeezed my hand tight. I had a whole host of emotions coursing through me, but the strongest were guilt and relief. I felt so guilty for all the times I had wished I had asked for single embryo transfer, I felt like I had almost wished this on myself – I had continually worried about the dangers of carrying twins, and here we were experiencing one, as we had to worry now that the miscarriage wouldn’t affect the other twin. But there was relief too, relief that it was only one that was lost, and relief that we were having a singleton – which of course kicked off the guilt again!

When we got in the car we tried to be philosophical. We wouldn’t have the worry of twin pregnancy/delivery, we wouldn’t have the worry at every scan that both were ok, we didn’t need anything for baby as CJ’s pram, cot etc were in excellent condition. If it was a boy, I had kept tonnes of clothes! No need to go looking for seven seater car. But still, every few minutes I visualised the screen with my poor wee angel that we’ll never see, and again the tears would flow.

Night night my baby.